by Mark Tarses
Saint Lawrence is the Patron Saint of Landlords, Chocolatiers, and Brewers
Berkeley and Oakland both have rent control and eviction control laws, laws that only benefit tenants. In the interest of fairness, I propose that the city councils of Oakland and Berkeley make St. Lawrence Day a legal holiday!
On August 10, 258; Saint Lawrence was cooked to death on a gridiron. According to "The Lives of the Saints", after being roasted alive for some time over hot coals while stretched on a rack, Lawrence told his torturers: "Turn me over. I'm done on this side."
Let's make August 10 a day for tenants everywhere to honor landlords and to reflect on all the wonderful things that landlords do for the benefit of humanity - like lugging rent checks to the bank and evicting the slow-pays.
The city council of Oakland and the Berkeley Rent Control Board should require that all tenants give their landlords gifts on St. Lawrence Day valued at not less than 1 month's rent.
I further propose that on August 10, public schools in Berkeley and Oakland should distribute free T shirts to all students that say: "Its Fun to Pay Rent!" on them.
With your help, we can make St. Lawrence Day a real legal holiday!
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